I was reading someone's profile and found out that his friend (one year older than me) passed away in his sleep suddenly. That guy is a real gifted guy, a man after God's own heart and he has been faithfully serving and all. In short, he's a great man.
Though he may be young, but the truth is, he passed away.
I've been thinking this over. In fact, it is true. That's no such thing as too young to die. I'm not being overly paranoid here bout death, nor am I scared of death. I'm not. I just wonder what have I done in my life.
Have I done enough? Have I been faithfully working towards His will? Have I been blessing people with what I have? Have I confronted and apologized to everyone that I've unintentionally hurt? Will all the misunderstandings and issues clear on their own?
More, will people come for my wake service? Will they have something to testify bout myself? Or is it just all bad things and gossips that I have left in their lives? Have God used me to actually touch their lives (even if its just a size of a pea)?
I don't know. I really don't know. I've been so discouraged these days with things, with words, with people and their actions.
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So what will you do if I die? I posted this question to two person just now.
The first person's answer was, "what can I do? You already died what".
Owh, thats very true. But what I meant was would you even come for my wake? Would you grief? Or would you just feel 'owh what a pity, she died' and lets move on with life? But its reality la. Okay.
Another said, "mk, im too busy now and have too many things in my mind now (she asked me for transport to airport and don't understand why cant I drive there). I'm tired and can I not answer you now? And you're not dying also"
Very realistic. Bagus.
Parasite friends? Maybe? Ask, get and leave. What more have I got to offer? Maybe only to your enquiries bout studies in Monash. Thankyou.
Sometimes I really wonder, is there someone out there still with me? I think i really need assurances.
11 comments:
adui.. y din ask me? i will sure ans u! hahahahaha
asked you already in msn. thanks alot! really really needed that :)
i cant help but to wonder who was the one who answered that way. i know who're going Monash.. hah. pretty sad. nvm, there're always times when this happens
hahaha no more guessing of names please. gosh. shouldnt have mentioned that.
Hoo ha, take live in your stride and don't regret bits man, there'll never be enough to do, so just be satisfied with as much as you've done =D
i believe there are hundreds other people that have been blessed by you. Don't worry!
jo and jin (hahaha its like jack and jill), THANKS! :)
You know u've definitely been a blessing to me in the short time that we've known each other. And im very sure u've blessed others too in your own ways. If people dont appreciate what u've done, so be it. Dont be discouraged. What matters most is that u've done all you could and u know it and God knows it.
I would definitely rmb what u've done for me if you die. I would definitely be sad...but then again not for too long because I know u're in a better place. =)
thanks alot, Gwen! You've been a great encourager in most of my entries! Thanks for all these assurances :) *Hugs*
I'll miss ur comments on my cbox.. and remember u everytime i pass by ur house.. =)
I'm sure u'll find the answers to ur questions.. just keep living!
haha thanks so so much mayc! I must come find you in Japan! Study slower la (or maybe you should work there abit) so that i can save enough money to fly there!
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