D r e a m * * *

I had a dream this morning. I can't remember the exact whole scenario right now but the message was really clear.

It's something like I was struggling, always wanting and trying to do everything perfectly and work out things the way it should be maybe to impress dad, to gain favour from people around and at the same time a good chance to boost my ever-low-self-esteem? I'll work and work and work through every opportunity to prove that I'm something, not a useless person. However, I was never satisfied enough with my work. Although I've gain the acceptance from people around me, I never feel good enough. There's always "something" more that I should do. For example, if I got an "A" for every subject in my studies, the "something" more would be "why didn't I get 100% for each subject?" It's these sort of thing, like never felt satisfied. Like the Malay's saying, diberi betis hendakkan paha.


Well, these went on in my life for yearsssss.. right until a day, a point where I FAILED to achieve what I supposed to do. I felt sooooooo condemn. Intimidated. Lost self-esteem totally. And I know dad will never love me anymore, people around me will look down on me and nobody would ever care for me anymore. It's hard to climb the ladder once again.


But Jesus came and He told me these,

"My child my child, why are you still living in the world of law? You need not do anything to come to me, you know I love you. You have been telling everyone 'Jesus loves you' but why aren't you living up to it? Indeed I really love you. You're now living the era of grace and because of me, therefore there are NO MORE CONDEMNATION. You're free, my dear. Do not let the past grip you, look to Me as you run this race. For my love for you is everlasting"


Beloved, though it was just a dream, I cried on the spot when I heard these words. Seriously. These words hit me. We know that Jesus loves us but yet we don't choose to believe it at all course. When we fail to do something, we feel condemned. Discouraged. But, this is not the way. Because we're no more living under law, but grace! We don't deserve everything.. the forgiveness of sins from Him, the love.. yet He wants to give us everything in the world! He promised. Folks, claim your territory even now and believing that you already received it!

Be encouraged, be blessed and feel loved. Till then, signing OFF.