When Forgiveness Seems Impossible.

"Forgive and forget"

This is a real common phrase but how many of us manage to do that? I admit I can't.

It was found out that there's actually a distinct difference between 'forgive but not forgetting' with the usual 'cannot forgive hence cant forget.' I can assure that you're fine with forgiving but not forgetting. I mean if something had happened, how can one forget? But you can definitely tell if that someone has forgiven the other for that incident or not.

For example, about 10 years ago, your friend of yours complained bout you to your teacher and you were punished by your teacher for no apparent reason. At that moment of time, you were very angry with your friend and the friendship was called off from that time on. Then today your friend called you and wanted to meet up with you after 10 years. Now, if you're still harbouring the bitterness and still angry with your friend --- then you've not forgiven him/her and cannot forget. But in contrary, if you do not have the angry/bitter feeling towards him/her anymore but you still can remember the incident --- well, you've definitely forgiven that person already but you didn't forget the incident but this is still good. I mean, what had happened had already happened and nothing can turn back the time and how can one forget any incidents that had happened but the most important thing is are you still angry? If not, you've already forgiven that person. Congratulations.

Its just so simple isn't it? Don't let the bitterness/angry for no apparent reason eat you up while the person you're angry with doesn't even feel anything. They have nothing to lose but you, maybe you're even losing your health. Studies showed that people with unforgiveness and full of anger have higher chance in getting cancer and other diseases. It has something to do with the signals and nervous system.

There's this someone that I mentioned before had this huge misunderstanding and misjudgement of me for so many years already. This person has been harbouring anger and bad thoughts bout me all these years thanks to words of other people though I didn't do anything. God knows how long this anger has been in that person and how this might be eating that person up for no apparent reason but today, this person actually started a short and small conversation with me. That's really surprising and you can tell that this person has realised that it was just a misunderstanding and has wasted so many years of harbouring the anger and bitterness for nothing. I'm glad, I'm really glad that things are taking place.

If any of you feels that you've been angry with someone, maybe you can try forgiving that person? Harbouring anger and bitterness for someone (especially when that someone doesnt even know it) would just bring lost to yourself. And remember, not forgetting the incident doesn't mean you havent forgiven that person. Maybe you already had but you just didn't know it :)

Affinity?

I was driving on the road this morning until this thought came to me: Human is rather unique.

You know, our affinity for something or someone (for a particular period of time) would be quite obvious. For example from the entries of this blog, I bet you can tell that I have a friend by the name of Amelia and her friendship carries some weight in my heart. And thats why you read her name repeatedly in some of the entries.

Or probably affinity for food? Or trips? Its like they carry such weight that they're worth mentioning if you get what I mean.

Other than these kind of affinities, our lives can also tell what we like or we don't. If you dread school, means you dislike school. Isn't that right? Basically I cannot stay still one la. I cannot be routinized.

I did my hospital attachment in Sunway Medical Centre bout 2 years back and I was quite excited for it at first. After 2 weeks of routined lifestyle, I dread work.

In Monash, I also dread school and always look forward to holidays after a while.

And now I just started working for 2 months, and although my job is not as routined as the rest and has highest flexibility but truthfully, I'm starting to feel the sien-ness already. Man, this is just the start! When will it end? 30 years later? Gosh.

I dread everything and basically I bet by now you can tell that I'm not someone who can't last or persevere. And out of everything, I realise that there's only one place that I'm in (for 6 years already and still counting) and I'm never tired of it, never dread it, and always looking forward to it.

That is Youth Ministry. I don't know what's it but there must be something in it that's keeping this passion.

Number-Dunno-What Miracle.

Have you ever tried being blessed with miracles so many times until you lost count of them?

I have.


I forgot to testify this the other day until I shared with Amelia bout it. The other day before I left 1U for Dr E's place (about 20km from the former to the latter), my fuel's sign started blinking. Jing Tien was following from the back and we were late, so I didn't wanna stop to pump anywhere until I reach Dr E's place.

It was about 11pm when we left Dr E's place and the signboard says 14km to Klang and ahh, the fuel's sign is still blinking! I wonder if it can last me home or not. I wasn't sure if it'll stop halfway and I don't wish to stop anywhere near to pump because it'd be so dangerous --- 11 plus at night around Kg Jawa/Sentosa area? A big no no.

So I uttered a short and simple (but powerful) prayer to God.

"Jesus, I need to be home. I know You'll keep me"

Lo and behold, right after that simple prayer, my fuel sign went up 2 bars (I was halfway home already that time) and the car moved as if it has a lot of petrol somemore. The fear of stopping-because-I-run-out-of-fuel was totally gone and I totally forgot bout it until I reached home. The fuel sign started blinking again only when I pressed my electric gate's remote control in front of my house.

At that moment, I believe He'd heard me and He provided :)

Shogun & Tenji

Just got back from Dr E's place. It was a blast nevertheless! :)

---

My colleagues and I actually pay RM10 to our team's fund every week and at the end of the month, we basically use this money to celebrate (actually thats just an excuse to eat out together) or more for bonding session la.


Chris & mk


Chris, Sharon (boss) & mk


So this month, we went to Shogun in Sunway Pyramid. I would say the food there's not bad and they're not as bad as I thought. RM 58++ (RM 67 after tax) for an adult is actually quite cheap for a japanese buffet so far. Apparently there are more varieties in this Shogun branch when compared to the one in 1U. And definitely I had a good time there :)

I had..


Cod fish with lobster sauce


baked cheese oysters


fresh oysters and sushi


sashimi (crab's leg, tuna, salmon, abalone slices) and more sushi


sliced beef with mixed mushrooms teppanyaki


peppermint & raspberry vanilla ice-cream with konyaku jelly


dragon fruits (alot of fibre to help lowering down the cholesterol) and konyaku jellies

Yes, that much! And actually I had more la.. like abit of lamb shank with brown sauce, tomyam gung (omg!), miso soup, sharkfin's soup, soft-shelled crabs with cheesey mayonnaise etc. Just abit of everything la but by right, I wasnt allowed to take pictures. Damn stupid right? Uhh..

But these food of course cannot be compared to those we had in Tenji, Mont Kiara with my dear friend. Cost-wise of course abit more pricey la (RM 88++ per pax and about RM 102 after tax) but if you compare the atmosphere, food choices etc, memang way better la. But if you're not someone particular in food and environment and you just wanna fill your stomach with alot of Jap food, then just try the one in Shogun :)

p/s: Andrea and Lingling, I'll bring you there when you next come up to Malaysia!

I'll let you compare the look of the food by these pictures taken in Tenji (actually partly is the photographer's problem la. I must admit that my friend's a real good photographer)


sushi




soft-shelled crabs


unagi -- the brave, strong and awesome descendant of the Unagon tribe


garlic cream green mussels


steamed cod fish (this is real good stuff from a person who doesnt like fish like me)


mixed mushroom teppanyaki


miso soup shabu-shabu (i love this too!)


fresh osyters


cane clams? i dont know what they call these.


amory beef (ohh i really really love this!! the beef is so tender and when you bite them, the juice comes oozing out... oohh la la..)


tempura and side dishes (chuka tako etc)



ice-blended lemon juice

Basically the one in Tenji offers more choices, all good choices only. Their drinks (look at above) are like juices, ice-blended fruit juices, fragrant coconut (ahhh) etc. The one in Shogun are from Nestle --- you know those instant coffee, ice lemon tea, blackcurrent drink from Nestle?

Tenji's ice-creams are from Haagen Daz while the ones in Shogun are from Nestle :) Realise the differences?

Hungry already? :)

A Corrupted World.

Blogging from the office again.

These few weeks were good. Met even more doctors, learned more stuffs. For some of you who wonder how am I doing, I'm doing well, thanks.

Somehow the irony, the more I'm exposed to this world, the more I know how shallow I was/am. All these while my world used to be so simple. Students -- study, employees -- work and contribute to your company/country, doctors -- save lives, policemen -- justice; but sad to see that all these are just supposed-to-be theories and reality isn't like this. .

I also learnt that no matter what you're pursuing right now, be it engineering, sciences, medicine, law, accounting but in the end of the day you'll still end up as a business-person.

I used to look up to these professions, or even medical doctors but its sad to see that their very first ambition to save lives have now changed to making money. Most of them are so business-minded! Dirty and corrupted! What's wrong with the world? All they think is to make money and do not wish to buy powerful vaccinations or medical cures from pharmaceutical companies in afraid that these medications would heal all sicknesses and they'll not have business for the next few months. What in the world right?

Myself am promoting on this very low glycemic index complete nutritional product solely for diabetic patients with the aim to control their diet a little and to reduce their blood sugar. This particular doctor actually told me that he'd rather not introduce this product to his diabetic patients because he believes that it can definitely help them. This is because after consuming my diabetic drink along with some drugs, the diabetic patients will be well and there wont be anymore need to meet the doctor and hence no business for him. No business = no income = rather don't heal them and hopefully more people will be sick. That's sad.

The righteous act of medical doctors have now changed to become selfishness. That doctor also told me that this top leading pharmaceutical company offered him something for asthmatic patients. As you know asthmatic attacks come almost every night or quite frequently, but after inhaling that new bronchodilator, one can be attack-free for at least 6 months. The doctor refused to order and prescribe this new awesome discovery because he said he wont get to see patients for the other 6 months.

Another doctor somewhere else told me that actually there's already a cure for AIDS and most doctors know bout it already but the pharmaceutical company didn't want to release this cure. Reasons behind? Once this cure is released, EVERY AIDS patients from Africa will be cured of AIDS and hence their other antivirals vaccines cannot be sold anymore since they're cured already. Now imagine, just because of this money-minded act millions of lives are still suffering from this so-called incurable disease called AIDS. The doctor even suspected that people actually inject HIV into the patients before they're intro-ed to the vaccines. How dirty!

I personally really hope that things will be done. Maybe some honest researchers should take over the research and then quickly patent the cure and release it to everyone to save lives? At this moment of time I wish I'm a PhD qualified and someone would give me grant for this research. Or at least, do you share the same goal and mindset as me?

Or maybe YOU can do something with it :)