Another Miracle.

july. it was just the beginning of this month that i wasn't keen on this month's incoming. i don't like changes as i'm already anticipating the expected. i'm not prepared and i don't know how much will it affect my current life.

the crucial week has came and gone. now's the just the aftermath.

what are the changes you may ask. are the outcome positive or negative? can i positify all the expected negativity? i don't know.

all i know, i'm really tired. i'm exhausted already in this race. the hills seemed so high and i wasn't sure if i had enough breath to climb them. i haven't gotten trained enough, i'm unprepared. i hope not much damages were done

now, all i aimed to do is to wipe clean the memories that took place during this period. and move on. it definitely would have left some scars but i heard some dermatix would help reduce the severeness of it all.

i was punched, i was kicked, i was left out. in the dark. all alone to face this valley of life. i could feel my priority and ranking in life got demoted from 3 to probably 7 now.

all i know i'll survive. i was born a fighter, not with my own strength or might of course! thank You, Lord.

like how amanda aptly puts it, when one door is closed, God will open another door for us. just don't give up on Him and continue believing. I thank You once again for this miracle, yet again.

i've gotta move on now. if no one in the world appreciates me or be with me in the lowest time, He will. apparently He sees my strengths in the midst of my weaknesses. He sees my potential when i fail in my life.

the only way to draw near to Him is through brokenness. 'cause only He can make me whole! my ego, my pride, my selfishness, all my masked emotions cannot be brought in, when i'm meeting Him in the holy of holies.

.. even when i secretly still hope that things were never changed. and you're still you... though the truth in reality says no.