You know what, I'm disgusted with myself!

Proclaimation: So as of today (Jul 30th), I need to increase my basal metabolic rate. Okay, scratch the need, need sounds like an understatement. I mean, I MUST increase my BMR!

yeah, so, thank You! (:

A Miracle Indeed.

Yet again today i experienced Your faithfulness in my life. That was indeed a miracle.

All I can say, thank You.

To Buddy with Love.

i always tell my students to study with love. or whatever we do, we do with love. heh yeah, even when working or being a friend to someone.

lei jo cho yat, ngo jo sap ng (canto); familiar or not this phrase? in english, its something like an eye for an eye. i guess this is one of the commonest scenarios in the world where everyone complies with such attitude. everything starts in us. i admit i may be one of them too.

we all may be living in the world but we're not of the world. at least, i beg to differ. i dont know how long this may last (or at least please give me a gentle nudge if i ever forget), but as of today onwards, July 25th 2010, i'd love to proclaim that i want to take the extra mile in things that i do. i want to show you the extra effort.

if you're not nice to me, i'd stil be nice to you. if you're nice to me, i want to be nicer than you!

heh, so thats to buddy with love. sounds easy but guess its not that easy, at least for me la. i definitely need the discipline and the compliances. and oh, i really hope no one will take me for granted for it. i cannot doubt that weariness will take place, but i hope you'd stand with me, and run this race with me.

previously, i really insist on both ways communication (even now, i hope they'd still be two ways). like previously, if i've texted you and you don't reply, i won't bother texting you anymore. or if i've called you or made a move to meet you but you don't seemed keen, then i'd not call you until you call me. or i don't bother requesting for hugs anymore if you do it for the sake of doing it, or poke jokes after that.

now, if you don't reply i think i'll continue bugging you with smses. now, if you're not interested and don't bother bout me, i'd choose to care more for you and be there for you at all times whenever needed. now, if you think you'd trouble me when you wanna ask favours from me, i'd go all the miles just to meet your needs.

and, i don't do these to impress you, or to make you feel bad, but i just want to be nice. just because i live in the world but i'm not of the world.

and yes, to buddy with love <3

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and oh, i had one of the sweetest dream last night! <3

a dream to remember? heh.

Another Miracle.

july. it was just the beginning of this month that i wasn't keen on this month's incoming. i don't like changes as i'm already anticipating the expected. i'm not prepared and i don't know how much will it affect my current life.

the crucial week has came and gone. now's the just the aftermath.

what are the changes you may ask. are the outcome positive or negative? can i positify all the expected negativity? i don't know.

all i know, i'm really tired. i'm exhausted already in this race. the hills seemed so high and i wasn't sure if i had enough breath to climb them. i haven't gotten trained enough, i'm unprepared. i hope not much damages were done

now, all i aimed to do is to wipe clean the memories that took place during this period. and move on. it definitely would have left some scars but i heard some dermatix would help reduce the severeness of it all.

i was punched, i was kicked, i was left out. in the dark. all alone to face this valley of life. i could feel my priority and ranking in life got demoted from 3 to probably 7 now.

all i know i'll survive. i was born a fighter, not with my own strength or might of course! thank You, Lord.

like how amanda aptly puts it, when one door is closed, God will open another door for us. just don't give up on Him and continue believing. I thank You once again for this miracle, yet again.

i've gotta move on now. if no one in the world appreciates me or be with me in the lowest time, He will. apparently He sees my strengths in the midst of my weaknesses. He sees my potential when i fail in my life.

the only way to draw near to Him is through brokenness. 'cause only He can make me whole! my ego, my pride, my selfishness, all my masked emotions cannot be brought in, when i'm meeting Him in the holy of holies.

.. even when i secretly still hope that things were never changed. and you're still you... though the truth in reality says no.

Changes.

Changes. Nobody likes changes. Especially when we're already in a comfortable state, when we're already so comfy with everything's that around.

But as much as don't like them, changes will still take place. We can run, we can hide, we can dislike, we can try-to-forget but changes will still take place when they need to.

The question is, how ready are we in accepting it. Because changes can take place, but outcome could be different. And the latter depends on our choices and how are we accepting it.

To be frank, this week is a rather worth-to-mark-down week. Because changes will be taking place. Of people and usual routined-life.

Well, I supposed we have to make it a good one. Unless we want the otherwise (:

For this, I want to thank God for everything that He has placed in my life, loved ones and good company. Thanks!



And oh! Happy 3 months, Buddy! (: